I am so grateful to everyone who has shared a link about Hudson’s birthday remembrance and everyone who has already let me know about the amazing things they are going to do to honor our girl’s life. At the end of the day yesterday (a long, sad day that I may write about later), I felt as if joy might prove itself to be elusive forever. I felt nothing but sadness. I felt as though I were carrying the One Ring or Voldemort’s locket around my neck—except that I couldn’t make the feeling go away by taking the damned thing off.
And then I wrote my post about remembering Hudson’s birthday. And the messages and comments and shared links started rolling. And I was lifted yet again, by the many, many people, a vast number of whom I don’t even know, who have witnessed Hudson’s story and want to share it and want to honor her life. Just when I think I cannot be humbled anymore, I am humbled again.
And just like that, that feeling I couldn’t shake was gone. I had been dreading today, thinking I’d have to carry around that same dark weight all day long. But thanks to you, I didn’t.
I am catching back up on your posts for this last week-- I hope that there is some solace in your daily exercise of thankfulness. We picked up a stocking to be filled for a child in need in our area last week-- we can choose the age and gender, and fill it with whatever we choose. We will choose a little girl from the 2-3 age group, in memory of Hudson. I plan to tuck something "turtle" in there to pass on her spirit animal to another child in need.
ReplyDeleteMandy, I am thinking of you and your sweet Hudson today. I am so sorry that you are not in that alternate reality right now, making cupcakes and wrapping presents. There is no way to make this any less wrong, but I wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart bleeds for you.
ReplyDeleteClaire
Mandy, even though we know that our sadness over Hudson's death is nothing compared to your grief, you and Ed and your families will not mourn her alone tomorrow or any day. We are with you - whatever you may need. love, Kate Z.
ReplyDelete