I can hardly believe this little tank is the same kid I gave birth to three months ago. He was a fairly average-sized baby, but when I look at his newborn pictures now, he looks positively skinny compared to the mutton chop he’s become. At his two-month appointment on July 27, he weighed 14lbs 10 oz (this is more than little Hudson weighed at her FOUR-MONTH appointment, when she weighed in at 14lbs 5 oz). Based on our rough estimates weighing him on our scale at home, he’s somewhere close to 17 pounds now. Unbelievable.
We started month three with a visit home to NC to hang out with Grandpa, Grandma, and Poppy, and see some dear friends of ours renew their wedding vows. On the way there, Jackson truly found his thumb for the first time. Before this, he was able to get his fingers in his mouth on a fly-by, but he could never keep them there. My hope was that finding the thumb would mean we were closer to him sleeping through the night on a regular basis, but no such luck. He still sleeps well at night (meaning he never wakes up wanting to party or anything), but he is ALL over the place in terms of night waking and feeding. He has indeed slept through several times, even a few times in a row, but then he’ll wake up once, and the next night he’ll wake up twice, and then once, and then twice. It’s crazy and leaves me a little zombie-like because my body doesn’t ever really get into a routine of waking and sleeping. Fingers crossed that he’s going to turn a corner soon. BUT, when he’s falling sleep, what a beauty it is to behold—not simply because he’s falling asleep (although that is very nice), but because it is just precious to watch. Usually to get him down for a nap, I swaddle him, give him a pacifier, and then bounce him very gently on my exercise ball until his eyes start to get heavy. Like his big sis, he usually fights it at first, and as soon as his eyes start to droop, he realizes that he’s falling asleep and kicks them back open. But finally, he can’t resist, and his eyeballs start lolling around under their lids. Often at this point, he’ll smile a half-smile in his sleep (hopefully because he sees something pleasant in that almost-asleep state). Once he’s really starting to go, he’ll spit the pacifier out and purse his lips—this little expression melts my heart. It is often followed by some more sucking motions in his sleep—watching that little mouth move unconsciously just kills me.
He’s also developing quite a personality. He already loves to razz (a skill his sister did not pick up until she was 7 months old) and while he does it a lot, it sometimes seems like an expression of dismay, like “Blffrrrrsssst! Mom! Not the car seat again!” or “Sppplllrrrsst! No, Mom, I don’t want to sit in your lap and read a book right now!” He’s also already mastered the plant-and-arch maneuver to avoid being buckled in to the car seat (another one I don’t think Hudson picked up until later). At about ten weeks, he started rolling over from tummy to back. He did it several times in a row that day and hasn’t done it since—he is his own little man.
Lots of other little firsts came and went this month. He noticed Bess for the first time, but only because I got her right up in his face—I still don’t think he realizes she’s around most of the time. He started batting at his toys several weeks ago and is now beginning to concentrate hard on slowing down his hands and trying to grasp them. He rode in the stroller without his car seat, but only once—as big as he is, he’s still a little small for it, and there’s also no good way to keep his precious white skin out of the sun (I’ll be glad when it gets cooler and I can put him in long sleeves and pants). I also put him in the Jumperoo (really just an exersaucer that he can bounce up and down in) for the first time and he was instantly a fan of all the lights and music and colors.
Best of all, he took his first trip to the beach, dipped in the ocean for the first time, and rode on his first boat. He’s still a little bit too much of a blob to do very much at the beach (again, the sun being the biggest problem), but we did manage to dip him in the water a few times and he took a nice little nap under a tent on the beach one afternoon. Like Hudson, he loves the feeling of the wind in his face—just like her, he gasps a bit trying to swallow the rush of air and his eyelids flutter a bit, but then he grins at how wonderful it feels on his face.
Last but certainly not least, his eyes are starting to change color. No surprise that they are beginning to turn the same beautiful shade of greenish-brown as his big sister’s and his daddy’s. Another gift from the universe to us.
Each passing day brings more joy as Jackson begins to grow into a little person. Having lost a little girl who was just about to burst into full bloom, it is sometimes hard not to wish away his infancy so that we can get to the days where he can interact and be silly and ask for things. I had this same struggle with Hudson when she was this age, but of course, it all feels very different now. But I’m trying as hard as I can to live each moment as it comes and treasure this time that I know is so precious—Hudson’s bright spirit is helping me every step of the way.