I am grateful for a little extra inspiration during my swim workout tonight. Our coaches are slowly ramping up our yardage at each workout. Tonight I had 1550 yards to do (almost, but not quite, the total length of what I will swim during the race), the last 300 of which were two sets of 150s (that’s 6 lengths of a regular pool) that I was supposed to swim at a pretty good clip. I got about halfway through the first one and was already thinking that I would just skip the second one. After all, the race is still more than four months away—what harm will it do if I skip the last 150 yards of this workout?
And then I thought about my girl. And what it was like to lose her. And how many other parents have lost their children or whose children are currently facing life-threatening diagnoses of blood cancers. And what a struggle every single day is for them.
I kept swimming. My girl’s spirit is still so hard at work. And I’m so grateful for it.
I find myself reading with tears in my eyes almost every day, Mandy. Tears of sadness for your loss of your sweet girl. Tears of appreciation that you continue to share her spirit and her gifts with each of us. Tears of gratitude for you and your amazing, heartfelt experience of life and the way you articulate it all. Tears of joy at how you seek the magic in each moment, sometimes through tears yourself.
ReplyDeleteRachel C.
You. Are. Amazing!
ReplyDeleteClaire
You Go Girl! Thanks for your transparency - sharing your heart.
ReplyDeleteKeep on keeping on
There is absolutely no better way to describe how I feel reading your words each day, Mandy, than Rachel C.'s comment above. It is perfect.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that you kept going. You are right about people struggling--some with grief and loss, some with illness. As I write this, I know of a 7 year old girl, who has relapsed again with high-risk neuroblastoma. There is no treatment for a relapse of this type of cancer. She isn't expected to survive the week.
ReplyDeleteI try to make sense of the world and I find that I can't. But yet I come here and read about you and Hudson and your family and I am inspired. Maybe we can make a difference. All we can do is try...