But there is no doubt that the joy Jackson has brought into our lives made this day so much lighter than its predecessor last year, when I couldn’t even bear to stay at home and open gifts with Hudson’s cousins. Yesterday, Jackson opened his first presents ever with his Grandma and Grandpa at Ed’s folks’ house. And last night, he wore his sister’s “Perfect Little Present” Christmas jammies to bed (the ones she wore when she was a whole 5 months older than he is now) and then today changed into his own “My First Christmas” outfit, complete with a penguin just for him. He spent the day entertaining his cousins and aunts and uncles and playing with his new blocks and making all of us smile.
And the best present I got was watching him learn to clap his hands in delight for the first time.
It will never be the same without Hudson, but I was so grateful to learn that this day would not forever be shrouded in darkness. I so look forward to one Christmas soon when we can share our Hudson memories with Jackson—I know he’ll love her pictures and videos as much as we do.
And finally, I want to say again (I could never say it enough) how grateful I am to all of you who continue to read here, to remember with us, and to send us so much love and support. I remain humbled and amazed by the depth of humanity that has been shown to us since we lost our girl. I hope that all of you enjoy your holiday season—thank you for embodying the very essence of the Christmas season for our family.