Friday, September 3, 2010

New Gig

I’ve been waiting for quite a while to write about this on the blog. It’s been in the works for a month or so, but only recently became official. I’ve accepted an offer to become the part-time pro bono coordinator at Catholic Law School. I start September 15.

I was not out looking for a new job. After Hudson died, I agonized for a long time about whether to leave my position at the Federal Public Defender. Ultimately, among many other things, I decided that I could not handle the stressful, deadline-oriented, chaotic lifestyle right now, particularly where people’s lives, other people’s children’s lives, were at stake. My boss and my office have been incredibly understanding and supportive.

Back in the fall, when I was looking to leave the firm for public interest work, I signed up for a job search alert on a public interest law website. Out of laziness, I just never turned it off. In the middle of the summer, this position showed up in my inbox. For two weeks, I did nothing about it. I thought it was crazy to even consider starting a new job right now.

And then I thought about it some more. For those of you who know me, you know that this is in what Ed calls “my sweet spot.” As a law student, I was deeply involved with the pro bono program, which, at Carolina, is run almost entirely by students. So this wasn’t an entirely new job—I already have a pretty good feel for how pro bono placement works. I have always considered student services at a law school as one possible career track, but have not been ready to leave practice—right now, I really can’t imagine practicing. The position is only 28 hours per week—I knew if I was going to go back to work at all, I only wanted to go part-time, because I felt like I still needed extra time for grieving and healing. And I can walk there—it’s only a stone’s throw further than the metro station in our neighborhood.

All of these things made me think about it again. It just seemed like maybe the stars were aligning somehow—it all seemed too perfect not to at least consider it. So I applied. After two rounds of interviews, I got an unofficial offer and then waited a few more weeks for the real offer, which came on Wednesday.

I do not believe that this is a case of “when one door closes, another one opens.”  I don’t believe that this was all part of some grand plan to get me on the path I’m supposed to be following. No, thank you—I’d be perfectly happy to keep slogging away as a public defender, preparing for an October trial, and working long hours for the next six weeks if it meant I could have my girl here with me.

But as I have said before, if things have to be this way, then I am grateful for this new opportunity. I can’t say yet that I am excited about it. Honestly, it’s difficult to get very excited about anything right now. But I can say that I think it will be a really good thing. I am ready to get back into a routine of some kind, ready to spend more time outside of the house than in it, ready to put my skills back to work doing something I love.

I’ve got about 12 more days to mentally prepare for being back in public four days a week, for the possibility of having to tell my story to strangers whom I am meeting for the first time, for the end of this cocoon-like period of grieving.

Right this minute, though, I just really miss my girl.

18 comments:

  1. Blessings to you as you take another courageous step.

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  2. So, are you going to have to start learning more about Catholic Law? Perhaps you could explain the whole indulgences thing to me.
    Seriously- Congratulations! They are lucky to have ya.

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  3. Good luck in your new endeavor. I'm glad this opportunity came along for you.

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  4. Mandy, the job may not be a part of a master plan or fate, but the students at Catholic are nonetheless incredibly lucky to have you. Your and Ed's commitment to public service is admirable, wonderful, and incredibly humbling. I hope that in this new journey you find new comfort and a new home. - Sara L.

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  5. omigoodness, how perfect. Congratulations, Mandy. I'm so happy to hear this.

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  6. Best wishes on this new journey. And thank you so much for continuing to share your life with us.

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  7. Mandy, sounds like a great opportunity! Best of luck to you!
    I miss your girl too!

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  8. Congratulations Mandy! I hope that this new work and community will give you the comfort and support you will be needing as you continue to grieve. I applaud you for taking this big step. You never cease to amaze me. We miss Hudson too. Sending much love!

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  9. Mandy, it sounds like it could be terrific. I'm sorry your girl is away to be missed. You are strong and brave. Hugs from Tennessee,
    Claire

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  10. Mandy, wow -- I echo those who have said they are lucky, lucky, lucky to have you. Even though you understandably can't get excited about much right now, I am excited for you.

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  11. Mandy, your strength and courage never ceases to amaze me. As Mandi said above, I too applaud you for taking this big step. This sounds like a wonderful opportunity for you, and I am quite proud of you. We are missing Hudson, along with you and Ed, but I think she's smiling down on you for being so brave :) Love you.

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  12. I hope that doing good for others will help to heal you. Good luck with this new step.

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  13. I echo my encouragement for taking this step - baby steps - to a life you didn't want but have to live. In helping students to help others, your inner soul will start to strengthen. You have been and will be a strong model for others - congrats for having the courage to take this step, and lots of love and luck as you take it. JoAnn

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  14. This opportunity sounds like a good way to "ease on down the road" as you make a life that is forever changed. The best of everything my friend as you begin again...Renee

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  15. As others have said, the students you'll be working with are going to be blessed by you. This new opportunity sounds good on many levels. Congratulations.

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  16. Good luck in the new position. I don't think I'd characterize this as one of those door closing/window opening situations, either, but maybe as an unplanned/unwelcomed redirection. You have taken your current situation and decided to be open to consider something like this, something that you know you like and are good at, a place to focus all those positive things that seem muffled right now, but that make you such a great person. Which is definitely "one good thing".

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  17. Mandy - I am really excited for you to have this opportunity and as a fellow "sweet spotter" it makes me very happy that you will be able to influence another generation of attorneys who will hopefully go out into the legal world and continue to do pro bono work and make the world just a little bit better by helping someone who doesn't have the means to help themselves. Hugs to you and Ed as you continue on this difficult journey. Heather M.

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  18. I'm not sure how I missed this post, but I did.

    You have got mad crazy skills (in many areas!) and I will be thinking about you tomorrow as you start your new job.

    Blessings and love to you, always.

    Kelley Barnhardt

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