Thursday, September 9, 2010

Needed Reminder

Well, we think we may have a lead on the journal, but neither of us wants to get our hopes up too much just yet. Hopefully we’ll know more tomorrow. Keep sending all your good vibrations this way. We’re due some good luck, I hope.

But whether we find it or not (and I really hope we do), the kindnesses shown to us during the past two days have been astounding and humbling, not unlike those we received during the days we spent in the hospital with Hudson and the days and weeks afterward. Hundreds of our friends (and consequently their friends) posted notes and comments on their Facebook pages and Twitter accounts, contacted friends or relatives who work for Southwest, and offered us lots of good wishes and moral support. Dozens of Southwest employees at all levels of the company who don’t even know us have been making personal calls on our behalf so that this journal would not just become another lost and found claim.

I can’t speak for Ed (if I had lost my computer and this blog did not exist as a record of all that I have written during this past four months, I probably would have done a lot worse than kick a hole in the wall) although I know he is also incredibly grateful for everyone’s efforts. But for myself (and for others who have shared their thoughts about this with me), these past two days have given me a much-needed opportunity to reflect on Hudson’s lesson of One Good Thing. If you follow the blog at all, you know that the last several weeks have been rough. I told one friend that I felt like Winnie the Pooh with the little black rain cloud following me everywhere. It seemed like we just couldn’t get a break.

And then, with another whirlwind of emails, phone calls, Facebook messages, and Twitter posts, I am reminded. Again. About how much we are loved. About how much goodness there is in the world. About how people reveal themselves again and again to be kind, compassionate, and selfless.

One of our most lasting memories and lessons from Hudson’s death came when Ed’s friend Lisa posted on his wall on the last day of Hudson’s life, the day we had thousands of people around the world hoping and praying for a miracle for her. Lisa said (and I’m paraphrasing here) that she had spent all day hoping for a miracle for Hudson, and then that evening, in a quiet moment, it came to her that Hudson’s life itself was the miracle. Indeed.

In much the same way, whether we ultimately find Ed’s journal or not, these past two days have themselves been their own form of miracle. Not only have we been enveloped and uplifted yet again by love and kindness, but 5,608 new people have been exposed to Hudson’s message by visiting the blog for the first time (that is exponentially larger than the average day, where about 500 new visitors stop by). Even if only a fraction of those new visitors stopped to read more of her story than was visible on yesterday’s lost journal entry, even if only a fraction found some meaning in their visits here (and I have received many messages and comments indicating that they have), I am grateful. As I’ve said many times before, that meaning is the only consolation I can take from my sweet daughter’s death.

Lately, I’ve been really struggling with finding the One Good Things under my little black rain cloud. In the last two days, you have all made it so easy. Thank you.


  1. Beautiful & uplifting post Mandy.

    Love always,

  2. Mandy and Ed - you are so very loved. Always amazing how you can find the One Good Thing. We never stop thinking about Hudson and you two. Love, Kate & fam

  3. And we all do love you so much, Mandy. Fingers are crossed for the lead to materialize. XOXO

  4. Everything is crossed for the journal's safe return. You have put out too much good in the world for it all to meet a dead end-- even though life has delt, and seems to keep dealing you, such a crappy hand, your heart, and the gift it created, sweet Hudson, is too big to be stopped. As always, you are in our thoughts so many times each day.

  5. How does someone who doesn't know you express without sounding ridiculous that I love Hudson? But I do. You have made her a real little person for me.

    I so hope the journal comes home. Sending big hugs.

  6. I am one of the new 5,608. I was alerted by an old friend on fb about your lost journal (all day I've hoped to see good news about its return). In a tiny effort to contribute in any way to Hudson's One Good Thing I am compelled to write and say thank you. Your writing is so eloquent, honest, and heart rendering I couldn't stop reading last night. Your descriptions of mothering and the enormous power of becoming a mom hit so close to home. From the pictures of your beautiful girl, to the activities shared, to your memories of being her parent it is so clear to any outsider that Hudson knew that she was and is loved deeply. We too live in the DC area and so many of the adventures you describe are places we go with our two. I am sure I'm not alone in saying (as one of your new followers) that not only did I find meaning in your blog, I also found myself facing life and my children differently today. May you continue to feel love and find peace as you and your husband face each day.

  7. I find you, your husband and your blog to be amazing. I've read several of your postings and I'm either moved to tears or to feelings of gratefulness and joy. Thank you for being courageous enough to share your story.

  8. I just found your blog through a mutual FB friend and have been having a good cry for the last hour. I hope the journal turns up. Thank you for sharing your journey. I have a toddler. I will be hugging her extra hard tonight. --Sara

  9. ...I do hope you find your journal. About Hudson; and the comment about the miracle of her life. This is so true. I believe that we all are here for a reason, and that reason is to touch other peoples lives in such a way as to make them better, regardless of the amount of time we spend on earth. Whether through a kind word, a smile to a passing stranger, a favour to a friend in need, or in Hudson's case as a baby her presence fundamentally changed your lives and you are better people for it....and, you are right. There is always one good thing, it just might not be obvious to you today. One day it will be.
    I don't know you, I am a friend of Mandi W. but your story touches me and I send you love from the West Coast of Canada.
    Best always

  10. i am a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines. If you can get me the exact flight numbers and dates from your itinerary I can contact the crew directly via message. Thanks DeLynne

  11. I agree with Claire. I'm so relieved that Ed's journal has been located, and wish you the best in recovering it soon. I don't even know you, but I'm friends with a friend of yours (Chuck) - and please know that I'm thinking of you!