I Did It

So I changed my mind. I just said, “SCREW IT! SCREW CHEMO! SCREW CANCER!” I decided that I was sick and tired of waiting to see what the chemo would or wouldn’t do. I decided I didn’t want some emotional shaving off of all my hair that would feel more like defeat than like fight. So, yesterday, after my fourth chemo treatment (which is hopefully the halfway point) I decided to take most of the rest of it off. But I made it my own, not chemo’s and not cancer’s. And it was fun.  It was one of the best ways I could think of to screw cancer, and with gusto.

I picked purple because purple is the color of Hodgkin’s lymphoma awareness, and it is the signature color for Team in Training, the fundraising arm for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. In case you haven’t already read, I’m training for another triathlon this summer, and I have talked 22 other people into doing TNT events all over the country. Together we are TEAM STRONGER, dedicated to the notion that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. So now I am a walking poster for Hodgkin’s awareness and TNT, and I love it.

Before I did this, I doubted whether it would really make me feel any more in control of this whole process than I did before (as I’ve recently written, I was feeling completely out of control). But to my pleasant surprise, it has. I feel stronger, tougher, and more in control than ever, even if that control is mostly illusory. And I feel grateful to be able to feel this way. I know not everyone going through this chemo or other chemos or other cancers gets to feel this way. I know not everyone has a greater than 90% chance of being cured.  

I feel stronger today. I hope this last treatment has cured me. I hope that perhaps you’ll consider donating to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society* today so that other patients out there will have the chance to feel stronger, too, so that other patients will have the chance to be cured. 

*Everyone who donates will receive a beautiful purple SCREW CANCER/One Good Thing bracelet.

More pictures from the transformation!

Hair credit goes to the lovely Alissa at Moshi Moshi in Chapel Hill. Thanks, Alissa, for making this so much fun!

Photo credits go to my wonderful husband, Ed.

Before...

Before... I think I look a little scared here.

First swipe with the trimmers...

All gone!

First have to lighten it...

Annie Lennox, eat your heart out.

Blondie!

TNT Purple!

No turning back now...

Under the dryer...

It really is purple!

First look!

I think I am a little crazy.

Did I really just do this?

Yes, I did!

And I love it!

With the lovely Alissa at Moshi Moshi

"This lady just got a purple mohawk, y'all!"

Do I look stronger? 'Cuz I feel stronger.

With the love of my life, who loves me unconditionally.

Feeling tougher than ever.

Seriously, SCREW CANCER.

SCREW IT.

My inspirations:  My Hudson necklace, my One Good Thing bracelet,

and my SCREW CANCER/One Good Thing bracelet.