Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Birth Day

I will write much, much more later (there is so very much to say as I try to process the enormous and nearly incomprehensible transition we’ve made over the last 48 hours), but for now I just wanted to let everyone know that our little Penguin, Jackson Edward Hitchcock Chaney, made his entry into the world almost two hours into his due date, at 1:45 AM on May 24, after 9 hours of unmedicated labor (only 3 of which were really hard) and about 5 minutes of total insanity that I will call pushing. It all went very fast and was an incredibly different, but equally powerful, experience from our birth with Hudson. This was a gift in many ways, I guess. Jackson looks so much like his big sister Hudson that it is almost breathtaking. This is most certainly a gift. The hours since he was born have been amazing in so many ways. Certainly I no longer harbor any doubts about the heart’s capacity to love and to grapple with extreme contradictions, even as it struggles to resolve them.

On Sunday night, after I’d finished up organizing and tidying Hudson’s and Jackson’s room, I said to Ed that maybe now Jackson would feel like we were really ready for him to come. Then I said, through my tears, that maybe I was the one who felt that way.

I started having contractions on Monday afternoon, within an hour of writing about my experience with their room.

So very much more to say, but I have a little boy to snuggle with and a little girl to grieve right now. I’ve posted a few photos (mostly from crappy phone cameras) until we can get the good ones uploaded.

And I can’t close this post without saying thank you, again, for everyone’s continued love and support, for loving and remembering our girl and loving and celebrating our boy. I don’t know how we’d be surviving this without you.






54 comments:

  1. Wow Mandy...that last photograph is amazing. Stunning really. We are so excited for you and Ed!

    ReplyDelete
  2. We are so happy for you and have no idea what the mix of emotions you are having are like, but we hope that they are mostly happiness and grace.
    Lots of love,
    Tom and Veronica

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh I wish I were there to hold him! He's beautiful. Tears of joy for you and Ed, I can't wait to meet him! I know Hudson's spirt is very proud right now :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. That last photo made me take a sharp breath. I mean, they all did, because they're all gorgeous, but that last one of your two babies looking so very much like each other...just amazing.
    Much love. You have an enormous heart, and I'm glad you now know for certain that you can carry both your little ones in there, still with room to spare for lucky us who read along and send love always.
    xoLiz

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thrilled for you and Ed. Absolutely thrilled. Jackson will know so much love in his life from the get-go.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a beautiful baby! He looks so much like little Hudson. Congratulations Mandy & Ed!

    I love how content your Ed looks while holding his newborn son. You both deserve the happiness that Jackson's arrival has brought.

    Enjoy your sweet boy and get some rest.

    Jana F./Singapore

    ReplyDelete
  7. He's beautiful, just like his big sister. Welcome to the world, Jackson! You are blessed to be part of a very special family.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hooray!!! I am so happy for you guys! Huge congratulations! Looking forward to more details, but it's not like you don't have anything else to be doing right now, huh? Pretty amazing that labor started right after you finished up in "their" room...perfect timing.

    That last photo of both children is truly spectacular. (And I see Jackson is already clutching his special blankie!)

    Again, I'm so thrilled for you...what special, beautiful, and LOVED children you have!

    ~Jillian

    ReplyDelete
  9. Congratulations!! Jackson is beautiful, and I am so happy to hear of his (safe, healthy, and happy!) arrival.

    The picture of Jackson next to Hudson is breathtaking. They are gorgeous!

    I can't wait to read more about your journey with Jackson, of course always remembering and loving Hudson.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Congratulations Mandy. I am so happy for you and Ed. I am so glad that little Jackson has arrived. Bravo to you for your labor and delivery. enjoy every second. You have been in my thoughts much of the last 2 days. thinking of Hudson, Jackson, You and Ed.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Holy cow does he resemble Hudson. It's uncanny, actually.

    He is gorgeous.

    Congratulations to all of you again!

    Kris

    ReplyDelete
  12. So, so happy for you and your family. The picture of your two most precious beings is so striking--I've got three boys and there was no resemblance at birth. Enjoy this wondrous time as a family...

    ReplyDelete
  13. im really glad your doubts about your ability to love a second baby as much as a first are resolved. you know, one less thing....<3
    congratulations, you done good.(as my ole mamma would say.)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Even "crappy phone cameras" help record such beautiful and wonderful moments. Jackson is beautiful, as are his and Hudson's mom and dad and sister.

    Congrats to the family,
    Lisa S

    ReplyDelete
  15. Can't wait to meet this blessed child. :-) Thinking of you and Ed and Jackson.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Congratulations, he's beautiful.
    Your journey continues...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh Mandy he is beautiful.. and his resemblance to his big sister is so beautifully evident on his sweet face. What a precious boy. Congratulations to you and Ed.. wishing you love my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Welcome to the world little Jackson, you are so beautiful and sweet! The resemblance to precious Hudson is breathtaking. You are amazing Mandy. Congratulations to both you and Ed (and Bess too, she has a new little brother).


    kirsten 2lilbirds

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow, words don't do these pictures justice, but Jackson is amazing. As are you and Ed. I continue to be in awe of your strength, vulnerability, and honesty. All the blessings in the world to your family. -Sara L.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Yay!!!Well done and congratulations to you all. He is so cute, what beautiful babies you and your husband make! Am sooo happy for you all, enjoy this very precious time. lots of love, Kell

    ReplyDelete
  21. Welcome baby Jackson! What an incredible family you join.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Happy Birthday Jackson!
    You are truly a blessing to your mommy and daddy.
    So many people love you and are so happy you're finally here.
    You look so much like your big sister which took my breath away.
    Congratulations to your mommy and daddy.
    Linda Miller

    ReplyDelete
  23. How beautiful--you, Jackson, and his incredible resemblance to his sweet sister. Congratulations to you all, and may the days ahead bring more peace and happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Wow, Mandy! Congratulations on Jackson's safe arrival. I audibly gasped when I saw the photo of Jackson next to Hudson's newborn photo due to their striking resemblance to each other. Much love to you all.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I don't know you, but have been following your blog and have admired your incredible courage and grace in the face of every parent's worst nightmare. I am thrilled for you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Mandy, such capacity for loving and sharing... such deep emotions and such clarity of words. Sending Love and Light to the 4 of you.
    Rachel C.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Congratulations! He is spectacular!. The resemblance is amazing. Best wishes to you all.

    ReplyDelete
  28. What beautiful babies you have! I can't get over their resemblance!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Wow! They really do look alike. So glad he is here and that piece of waiting it over. Peace in strength in you welcoming and grieving.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Right on time...Jackson is such a sweet baby boy already! I've been wondering what the little guy would look like, and the photo of Jackson and the baby picture of Hudson certainly answer that question. What a special gift. Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Welcome to this world baby Jackson and congratulations Mandy, Ed, and big sister Hudson!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Whoa, striking how much Jackson looks like Hudson. I know exactly how you feel...I was elated that Ryan looked so much like Veronica (much more so than the other kids). It gives me a glimpse of what I imagine Veronica would look like as an older baby.
    Congratulations again. So happy for you guys.
    xoxo, Olivia

    ReplyDelete
  33. Congratulations on Jacksons much anticipated arrival!!! He is perfect. And really that last picture is breathtaking. Welcome to the world Jackson!

    Kate

    ReplyDelete
  34. My heart is overjoyed for you and your family of 4. Such a beautiful, beautiful family!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Congratulations!! You deserve every happiness as you enjoy your new little guy. Your writing is always eloquent and powerful- and this post gave me chills as you described the timing of your labor's onset. Pretty amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Welcome baby Jackson! And Congratulations Mandy and Ed! I am so happy for you! And he looks SO much like his big sister! Wow!
    Many hugs to you,
    Jamie

    ReplyDelete
  37. Congratulations! Welcome to the world Jackson. How lovely that he looks so much like his big sister.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Congratulations, Mandy and Ed! That last picture is simply stunning. I wish all the love, healing and hope for you in this new phase of parenting.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Congratulations on your beautiful beautiful Jackson!

    Enjoy every moment....his resemblance to Hudson is a gift for you Mandy.

    Looking forward to seeing more photos of your precious boy.
    with love
    Diana x

    ReplyDelete
  40. He is beautiful, just like his sister, and I'm so very glad he's here and safe. Once you've caught your breath, I look forward to reading more. xoxoxox
    - Merm

    ReplyDelete
  41. He is the spitting image of Hudson. I am so overjoyed at the gift of two beautiful children...Turtle and Penguin, what a pair...Loving you 4...Renee P.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Prayers for love, blessings, peace, joy, and remembrance.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Love to you, Ed, and Jackson, as you continue your journey with Hudson by your side. He is gorgeous and so like her, yet so much his own little person.
    Big hugs,
    Claire

    ReplyDelete
  44. Congratulations! He's a beautiful little penguin!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Congratulations Mandy and Ed! What a gorgeous little boy! It is wonderful to see the happiness on your faces after all you have been through. Gives us all hope that there are still good things to come even when we're at our darkest point in life. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful time getting to know little Jackson.

    Hug
    K.H.

    ReplyDelete
  46. And the world just got a little brighter! Congratulations to you all. Keep sharing these stories and memories and moments. They are lovely and sacred moments to treasure and we delight in them all with you! Much love to the family and lots of baby kisses!
    - Lindsay McKinnon

    ReplyDelete
  47. I am a close friend of Shannon's (vet from Alexandria). I just want to send my deepest joy and congratulations to you and to Ed. Life throws curve balls and you've been handed your share. Soak Jackson in. Soak in his birth. Soak in your rebirth. And if it's too much to process, just think less and feel more. Even though the sun will burn you if you ask too much of it, remember for now, enjoy the warmth of it all. Welcome Jackson.

    -Jennifer from Annapolis

    ReplyDelete
  48. Congratulations, Mandy and Ed! We are so happy for y'all that Jackson has arrived safe and sound. What a stunning likeness to his big sister! I hope your hearts are comforted as you love on that sweet boy.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Wow!! is all I can say..I am at a loss for words..which almost never happens..what a face..almost too much...wow..you all look so happy..everyone looking forward to meeting Jackson at St. Ann's..hope some peace comes to you both with your amazing Jackson.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Congrats Mandy and Ed! Welcome little Penguin! Hudson and Jackson look so much alike at that age - thanks for posting that comparison photo. WOW! I'm so happy for you, and I know this is an double emotion time for you, and I send you courage and strength and so excited for the first few weeks you will spend together bonding with your new family member. XOXO.

    ReplyDelete
  51. What a gorgeous, gorgeous child. In tears over here at your wonderful news. Congratulations and welcome Jackson.

    Meg/geezlouise

    ReplyDelete
  52. Congratulations!! Jackson is beautiful! So happy your sweet boy is here!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Oh, so glad he's here safely!! And loved the photo of him with Hudson's photo - beautiful in itself, but also heavy with all the sibling photos that Hudson will be missing from. Lots of love, Hxx

    ReplyDelete
  54. He's breathtaking. Congratulations to you all!!!!

    ReplyDelete