Tuesday, August 31, 2010

More Surprises

I was remarking to Ed that I was sad that the last picture I thought we had of Hudson and me together was this one from our visit to the cherry blossom festival in early April:



When I mentioned it to Ed, he remembered all of a sudden that we had a few pictures from our trip to Chicago a week or so later that we’d taken on his Blackberry (mine, as you may recall, had been “disappeared” by the munchkin earlier in the weekend at our friends’ apartment—this was the same trip from which our friends recently discovered a video of Hudson we’d never seen).

After Hudson died, I remember being so upset that we hadn’t had room to take our camera on that trip (we were trying not to check any bags so we could avoid the ridiculous bag fees). Hudson had her first (and sadly and unexpectedly, her last) visit with her own personal petting zoo at her aunt and uncle’s farm outside of Chicago, where they raise Icelandic sheep (one superbly named Tar Heel), llamas, and chickens. She was particularly enamored of the chickens and busied herself with chasing them around as much as we (and they) would let her.

So you can imagine my excitement to learn that we actually did have a few pictures of her from that visit. I was again filled with anticipation to see what the pictures might hold. And was I rewarded. They are grainy, but otherwise perfect. Look how fascinated she was. I just can’t get enough of that face—inquisitive and piercing, yet decidedly impish and joyful. And yet I’m filled with sorrow to know that I will never see it again, that its bearer was taken from us long before she ever had the chance to explore all the adventures to which her curiosity would have drawn her, that these are, I think, the last pictures I have of us together. My girl, so amazing.




13 comments:

  1. What a gift. I love her little face in the pictures--she has eyes only for that chicken. And you-- looking at her with so much love, and then in the next shot, looking out and on. You will always have your love for her, and she is helping you to heal enough to keep going on.

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  2. So amazing...
    wally

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  3. Such beautiful pictures. I love the curiosity you can see in Hudson's adorable face. Even though it was short, the life you gave her was so rich and full of experiences and love.

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  4. Oh, you're both so beautiful. Hudson's face is so incredibly intent, her sweet little fingers being so careful. Thank you so much for sharing these. p

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  5. More hidden treasures. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us-Christine Mayhew

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  6. Mandy those pictures say it all!! What treasures! I'm so glad they were waiting to be found.

    Alex K

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  7. Twice now, I've had people send me pictures of my son that I didn't know about. It is such a gift, getting a new glimpse of your child. I'm glad these were discovered and shared with you.

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  8. So wonderful! What beautiful pictures of you and your girl (who really does only have eyes for that chicken...) What a thrilling discovery! I sincerely hope there are a few more hidden treasures yet to be discovered. I'll keep my fingers crossed that there are.

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  9. These are just beautiful, in so many ways.

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  10. Mandy,
    You and Hudson both look beautiful. Every picture shows the love you two shared. What a gift to find pictures closer to the last time you held Hudson and she was here. I'm on a search like that myself...

    Please be gentle with yourself. Take each day as it comes and if that's too painful just take things breath by breath.
    Jackie

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  11. I'm so happy that you were given this gift. With each story I hear of what you used to do as a family, from visiting farms, to trips to the water, even down to car rides and preparing dinner, it is clear how amazing you are as parents and that you really did cherish every single moment you had together as a family. You really made every moment of Hudson's life special, and she couldn't have been blessed with more loving, devoted, caring, and encouraging parents. Much love and hugs to you as always.

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