I have debated for several few days about whether to start this blog. I started blogging (accidentally, really) two years ago about my pregnancy with Hudson, and was intermittently committed to it through the first month of her life and then gave up and switched over to "FBO" ("Facebook Only"). And while Facebook has been a surprisingly effective tool for community grieving, remembering, and support since Hudson's death, I have found myself wanting to write about this journey in a way that Facebook just doesn't really make room for. And it may be that Hudson's message of One Good Thing should have a wider reach than it can on Facebook. I don't know. But here I am. More than a little afraid, but trying to channel my sweet Hudson's spirit and just go for it.
I don't know how this blog will go. I struggled with whether to start from the beginning, but the idea of trying to catalogue, process, make sense of the roller coaster of emotions we have experienced over the last 4 weeks (can it have been that long since she got sick? And yet can it have been so recent?) is intimidating to say the least. And while I hope to embrace, embody, and pass on Hudson's message of One Good Thing here, it is only part of this journey-- although I have been amazed to find what a huge part it has become. I'm just going to start and see how it goes. My tendency to overanalyze has never served me well in the past-- I doubt it will do so here. So I'm beginning. Again.