tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post926078728474744563..comments2023-09-20T00:13:37.931-04:00Comments on One Good Thing: How To Say ItMandy Hitchcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365577216317740232noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-52714171609088073912011-04-12T00:31:52.355-04:002011-04-12T00:31:52.355-04:00It sucks no other way to say it it f..sucks..It sucks no other way to say it it f..sucks..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-21785758492361341522011-03-31T11:47:00.646-04:002011-03-31T11:47:00.646-04:00Often silent, but still reading. Just wanted to sa...Often silent, but still reading. Just wanted to say...I'm so sorry that this has to be the story you have to tell. I'm so so sorry.Ninahttp://sweetdisarray.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-11769138908552009592011-03-31T08:54:19.081-04:002011-03-31T08:54:19.081-04:00I do the same thing -- minimize the loss..."a...I do the same thing -- minimize the loss..."actually, she passed away," followed by the ridiculous, "but I have a new baby." I guess it's my(our) inherent need to not disappoint others. As if somehow I have failed the listener by relaying such tragic news. <br /><br />To anonymous who posted before me -- your story is heartbreaking. I've often thought that the only other loss that compares to the death of one's child is a young child who has lost its mother. I am so sorry you have had to live wihthout your mom, and that she never had the chance to see you grow up and develop into what appears (based on your insightful comment) to be a wonderful adult. <br /><br />Hugs to you and to Mandy.<br /><br />OliviaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-52482612147023644492011-03-30T11:37:22.449-04:002011-03-30T11:37:22.449-04:00i've been reading your blog for a while now, n...i've been reading your blog for a while now, not quite sure what exactly was drawing me to your story so much. I've never dealt with losing a child, as i am not yet a mother. But still i find myself here quite often. This entry reminded me why i frequently find myself here. Although i cannot know what you are going through as a mother who has lost her child, i do know what it is like to be a child who has lost her mother. My mother passed away six months after i was born. I never even had the chance to know her. And when i encounter a situation where i must tell someone about her it plays out very much like the one you described. I also say, "Oh, she actually passed away when i was a baby" trying to act is if its no big deal, like everything is a-okay. But it is a big deal. and your blog is a testament to just how "big a deal" your baby Hudson was, and still is, to you. I think that is what draw me in the most - that you have found a way to express just how much she matters and how much she will continue to matter to you the rest of your life. it is really beautiful. i envy the courage you show, writing so open and honestly about something which is so very difficult to talk about at all. So thank you for sharing your experiences and showing me one good way of wading through the never-ending grief that results when a mother and child are separated.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-81791256770709504882011-03-30T10:03:44.182-04:002011-03-30T10:03:44.182-04:00You've been through a terrible trauma and ther...You've been through a terrible trauma and there's no good way to talk about it. You need to go easy on yourself in these situations and how you discuss it. Only a fool or cretin would judge you.Shawn Zellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03731177329678772824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-71060657362534964302011-03-30T09:25:58.663-04:002011-03-30T09:25:58.663-04:00There is no right way to say it and I'm so sor...There is no right way to say it and I'm so sorry you have to say it at all. It breaks my heart that this is your reality. Big hug, Mandy. <br /><br />Love,<br />KateKate C.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-44565649328213658902011-03-30T08:10:06.339-04:002011-03-30T08:10:06.339-04:00I wish those words never had to be spoken.
Hugs,...I wish those words never had to be spoken. <br />Hugs,<br />ClaireAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-74397586113858346142011-03-30T07:39:34.701-04:002011-03-30T07:39:34.701-04:00You're right. There is just no good way to te...You're right. There is just no good way to tell someone that your child has died. And I am so, so, sorry that you have to tell them.<br /><br />KrisAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-24466649258043426412011-03-29T23:44:20.763-04:002011-03-29T23:44:20.763-04:00Mandy, your writings always move me. Especially to...Mandy, your writings always move me. Especially today. Thank you.<br /><br />Love, RebeccaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-34437416834787676502011-03-29T23:30:36.182-04:002011-03-29T23:30:36.182-04:00It is, it is an awful reality to live with. And th...It is, it is an awful reality to live with. And the telling never seems to end. I'm so glad she gave you a hug at least.Hanenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02490161992949497684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-32153038679920182452011-03-29T23:14:00.249-04:002011-03-29T23:14:00.249-04:00It is too awful to take in. I am so sorry.
In th...It is too awful to take in. I am so sorry.<br /><br />In the 'for what it's worth' department, my mother died when I was young and I said such similar phrases ('actually, she passed away' was/is common) and I also always fill the space with 'and fortunately my dad re-married and I really like her..." as if this makes everything into a happy ending that my listener can deal with. For me, it was too much to manage someone else's feelings of shock/grief on top of my own -so I think I was keeping their feelings at bay so they wouldn't spew their emotions at me. <br /><br />Thinking of you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com