tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post686012427989202353..comments2023-09-20T00:13:37.931-04:00Comments on One Good Thing: AshesMandy Hitchcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365577216317740232noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-55963153969093473112010-11-14T23:15:17.194-05:002010-11-14T23:15:17.194-05:00My heart breaks for you. I am sobbing reading this...My heart breaks for you. I am sobbing reading this (and of course I don't even know you). <br /><br />I am so glad you have those physical rememberances of her body to hold on to as you grieve over her.Ninahttp://sweetdisarray.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-23043177216387549132010-11-12T11:11:28.969-05:002010-11-12T11:11:28.969-05:00You give grief life in ways we dare to know. We a...You give grief life in ways we dare to know. We all miss her so; tears will forever fall upon her name. Love to All...Renee P.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-65614047279685622062010-11-12T09:36:23.409-05:002010-11-12T09:36:23.409-05:00My heart just breaks...the vision of you sitting o...My heart just breaks...the vision of you sitting on your couch grieving so deeply for Hudson is so vivid. Like so many of us have said so many times before, I wish I could take this pain away Mandy...or somehow lessen the hurt, but I can't. So I will continue to pray for you and Ed everyday for the rest of my life. Thank you for sharing your deepest thoughts with us Mandy...they are a constant reminder to me of how precious life is and to count my many blessing. <br /><br />Love you so much.Dusted Recordshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04872623165471720353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-70634030839889397432010-11-12T08:02:30.421-05:002010-11-12T08:02:30.421-05:00In other cultures and times mourning is allowed to...In other cultures and times mourning is allowed to be huge and loud and physical, women keening together over the loss of loved ones, cursing the gods and rending their clothes. THe way you write about this awful afternoon I want that kind of mourning for you. Where you can embrace Hudson's ashes and sob and cry and other people will do it with you and you don't have to be well behaved and apologize and calm down you can just curse the fates and cherish her objects and memories in any way that brings you comfort. And it's good for your coronaries!<br /><br />Erika BaileyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-92111963518904013562010-11-11T23:56:08.977-05:002010-11-11T23:56:08.977-05:00I am still so close to this only nine weeks out......I am still so close to this only nine weeks out.... <br />Cullen's ashes are in a beautiful box form Willowtree with a mother holding and infant on the front. LIke you I have looked at them a few times trying to 'find him' in that little plastic bag. <br />I could never part with his ashes. They will stay with me until the day I no longer walk this earth and his body will them go with mine in whichever way I go.<br />Thank you for this post sweet Mandy...<br />love and grace always to you mamma....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-13908864069805837492010-11-11T19:29:40.808-05:002010-11-11T19:29:40.808-05:00Today on the Metro, I noticed that a man standing ...Today on the Metro, I noticed that a man standing near me was wearing a bracelet that said "One Good Thing." I asked if his bracelet was in remembrance of Hudson Chaney, and he told me his youngest daughter went to school with Hudson. Physical reminders of Hudson's life can still be found, even for those of us who did not know Hudson. I hope all the physical reminders you have of her life continue to bring you some comfort.Family Snodgrasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01083153754745303465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-80106514437748850702010-11-11T14:31:03.102-05:002010-11-11T14:31:03.102-05:00Dearest Mandy,
You wrap your arms around Hudson&#...Dearest Mandy,<br /><br />You wrap your arms around Hudson's ashes and stroke her hair as much as you need to. It doesn't need to make sense, it only needs to bring you a small ounce of comfort. Nothing and no one can ever replace her but sometimes we will do whatever we can to just come close, to just spend that energetic kind of time with our baby angels.<br /><br />I pull out the ultrasound photos of my lost angels and play specific songs when I want to be near her. It only needs to make sense to me.<br /><br />We are all wrapping our arms around you tightly. Holding you up in all of the moments you feel yourself falling. <br /><br />Love always,<br />CandyCThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03036853151561040133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-32824274974652708312010-11-11T14:29:52.070-05:002010-11-11T14:29:52.070-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.CThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03036853151561040133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-18396953597632906202010-11-11T14:04:26.429-05:002010-11-11T14:04:26.429-05:00Oh my goodness. I just found your blog and I can&#...Oh my goodness. I just found your blog and I can't express my sorrow for your loss, your journey, your attempt to understand what is happening to you and your family.<br /><br />I have been writing about my own loss, albeit not the loss of my child (my biggest fear, the one which you are facing right now), but the loss of my marriage (of which there is still hope). <br /><br />I have had a terrible 6 months, and you are welcome to read about my journey if you like. It has it's own set of pain, but I will say as painful as what I went thru - continue to go thru - is, at no way do I compare it to yours. The grief of losing a child must be immeasurable, insurmountable.<br /><br />I wish I could take the pain away from you. <br /><br />Just know that I, as well as others, are walking beside you. You are not alone.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing your journey. I am so moved.<br /><br />with love, andrea (from Raising Peanut)Andreahttp://raisingpeanut.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-24124060016326863852010-11-11T12:42:53.120-05:002010-11-11T12:42:53.120-05:00This post is so vivid, so rich, such a palpable an...This post is so vivid, so rich, such a palpable and complete portrait of your grief. Thank you for sharing such an intimate, deep part of your experience. Your love for Hudson is incredible. I am so sad for you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-66522044196327107712010-11-11T08:52:00.400-05:002010-11-11T08:52:00.400-05:00I don't believe that there can be any rights o...I don't believe that there can be any rights or wrongs, rules or timelines when it comes to grief. <br /><br />Thinking of you, ShelleyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-76533095800750140292010-11-10T22:14:42.651-05:002010-11-10T22:14:42.651-05:00Mandy, December first is World AIDS Day. I always...Mandy, December first is World AIDS Day. I always take that day off and do volunteer work with children who are HIV positive or have full-blown AIDS. <br />Every December 1 from now on, as I begin my volunteer work, I will take a moment to speak Hudson's name and hold you all close in my heart.<br /><br />Your writing is so clear and painful. I wish more than anything right now that this were not your reality.<br />Big, big hugs.<br />ClaireAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-5493702513723472112010-11-10T21:21:49.976-05:002010-11-10T21:21:49.976-05:00Mandy, I don't think you've written anythi...Mandy, I don't think you've written anything as powerful as this. (((hugs))) You do exactly what you have to do to keep moving forward. You, Ed and Hudson are writing these rules. Listen to your heart. And I loved reading about the lamb and the dish towel. MariannAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-27024713219577192612010-11-10T20:56:51.023-05:002010-11-10T20:56:51.023-05:00Such a beautiful post.
One small detail that st...Such a beautiful post. <br /><br />One small detail that struck me was your description of the stuffed lamb and dish towel. Leah does the same thing with a burp cloth. Leah and Hudson shared so many traits. We think of you and Hudson often and now these naps will have more meaning for us.Robbins Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08711714346385839058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-10207441175446562102010-11-10T20:56:44.312-05:002010-11-10T20:56:44.312-05:00Please leave an ash or two here in DC for us who l...Please leave an ash or two here in DC for us who love her here. :)Shawn Zellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03731177329678772824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-3882499203883017162010-11-10T20:46:02.415-05:002010-11-10T20:46:02.415-05:00I am utterly without breath. The words you give y...I am utterly without breath. The words you give your grief are as powerful as any I have read. You courage in speaking them is so moving. As a witness to your sorrow, I can tell you that your story helps me know what kind of courage is possible. God bless you.<br /><br />I will celebrate December 1st as the day Hudson came to the world. I will celebrate the joyful gift of her life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-56668898483955569762010-11-10T20:15:55.717-05:002010-11-10T20:15:55.717-05:00Mandy, the depth of this leaves me without words a...Mandy, the depth of this leaves me without words and almost without breath. I am so, so thankful that there is some relic of her to touch--some semblance of a hand to hold. I wish so much it wasn't this way.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01171863825834003035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-46059926588227637392010-11-10T20:14:47.296-05:002010-11-10T20:14:47.296-05:00Mandy,
Sorry seems so inadequate here, but what ...Mandy, <br /><br />Sorry seems so inadequate here, but what else could I possibly say. <br /><br />My husband and I lost both of our father's this year. Shortly after my fathe-in-law died my mother-in-law called me say she was sorry but she just couldn't bring herself to bury his dad's ashes. She had been planning to take them back to KY where the two of them were from and bury them in a family plot this fall. She said that having them with her in her house brought her great comfort and she just couldn't bear to part with them. At the time I thought that was kind of odd. When my dad died there were some strange decisions made regarding his internment, but I wasn't that bothered by them because I don't associate where he is buried with where he is. Now, I think I understand what my mother-in-law was trying to say. Having his ashes near her is comforting to her and she should keep them as long as she needs them. <br /><br />I am glad having Hudson's ashes near brought you some comfort today.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-17469125844246690582010-11-10T19:25:15.650-05:002010-11-10T19:25:15.650-05:00Remember, Mandy... crying is good for your coronar...Remember, Mandy... crying is good for your coronaries. And no, we don't get tired of hearing it.<br /><br />xoxoxo.<br /><br />Kelly SeymourAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-22246721153240132822010-11-10T19:01:27.274-05:002010-11-10T19:01:27.274-05:00Oh, Mandy. Your grief is so palpable, and I keep w...Oh, Mandy. Your grief is so palpable, and I keep wanting to reach into your life and fix the terrible knot that has tangled there, as though if enough strangers weep with you we can change it for you. <br /><br />It seems utterly sensible to keep the ashes with you as long as you need them. <br /><br />pAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239796424430952907.post-53019830016929469642010-11-10T18:51:18.733-05:002010-11-10T18:51:18.733-05:00Mandy,
Thank you for sharing this. I am so sorry t...Mandy,<br />Thank you for sharing this. I am so sorry that you had such a painful afternoon. <br /><br />This exact topic has been on my mind a lot lately, as my father-in-law recently died of pancreatic cancer, and we've been thinking about what to do with his ashes. We have been cherishing certain objects of his, like his bronze medal, a magic trick, or a specific science experiment (he was a magician and a science teacher). <br /><br />But, the ashes seem to have some other meaning. You described it perfectly and have helped us realize that it's okay not to know what to do or at least to want to hold on to them longer.<br /><br />Thank you.<br /><br />Lisa S.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com